A Lonely Woman

By Nuray Yerebakan
Nuray Yerebakan's stories

My mother got married when she was 19. By the time she was 28, she had nine children. Two of my brothers and one of my sisters died. My mother was a very strong woman. Although my father loved and respected her very much, he cheated on her many times. Still, my mother loved him very much. My father had chronic diseases. My mother had hypertension and diabetes. My mother died when she was 58.

My father’s cousin introduced me to my ex-fiancé. He was nine years older than me. My father’s cousin didn’t tell me he and his family were gamblers and alcoholics. Of course, they hid that from me when I met them the first time, but after our engagement, I got to know them better. I liked him though. My father also used alcohol and my fiancé said that we would live with his family. I thought my life would not ever change if I stayed with him, so I ended the relationship. I don’t feel anything for him right now, but I don’t have any regrets.

My ex-boyfriend was my boss. He was divorced from his wife, but they had daughters together and they were in frequent contact. They owned a house in another province, and they spent time there with their friends. This bothered me. He said he loved me, and his ex-wife knew about this. On photos he shared, it seemed as if we were all being together. His ex-wife sent an agent to my house to disclose our relationship. The agent thought he was recording my voice secretly, but I was aware.

I also had problems with my father. He was a heavy drinker. One night, I hid the alcohol bottles from him. He started looking everywhere because he was addicted, and when he couldn’t find them, he tried to open the door to my room at night. I locked it every night. I left home and stayed with a few friends for a week and my darling supported me that time. He said “Stay at my house, I will stay somewhere else.” I did not accept.

One morning, he picked me up from my friend’s house and we had breakfast outside. We looked at the house and spent the day together. My father called my aunt and said he was going to start alcohol treatment and asked me to come back. I came home and my father took 3 sessions of alcohol treatment. The drugs the doctor gave damaged his kidneys so he stopped using them. He uses less alcohol now. Then my darling wanted to come to our house for dinner to meet my father. But I didn’t want to introduce him to my father because even though I can’t control my dad, I thought I’d lose control completely if I introduce them to each other. But I didn’t say that to my darling. He was wearing my favorite tie that day. So we went to a restaurant for dinner. Not only was he there that evening, his brother, his partner and other co-workers where there too. At the end of the night, my cousin came to pick me up and we went home.

There are many more details, but I want to cut my story short. We talked for a while longer. One day we went to a store and I bought a wall clock that he liked. It was a housewarming gift. He asked me to dinner and I was going to give him the clock that evening. It didn’t happen. One evening he dropped me off at home and I gave him the clock. Another evening, I went to his house without a plan. That night we kissed until morning, but we did not make love. He invited me again another evening, but he played tricks on me. The next day I went to work and stayed working for another 4 days. His ex-wife called the workplace. I  argued with her on the phone and I hung up. Then she called my darling and complained about me. I saw that our relationship was over and I pulled back as if it never really happened. A year later he remarried his ex-wife. She sent the marriage videos to my phone and insulted me again. What I went through was a big mistake.

1 January, 2023