After waking I was prompted to act through the words that traveled through the dream. In the dream, I had a broader connection to the universe, was highly intuitive, and, in the silence of sleep, could synchronize with a higher frequency. The sound of the message passed through the veil crystal clear. An unknown voice of a young child echoed “call the doctor”.
“Call the doctor.” After hearing call the doctor several times, I sat up on the bed, made a note to myself, and returned to sleep. Later that day I called my son’s pediatrician and spoke with the receptionist. I asked, how’s my son’s health? The receptionist said Ameir, my son, was in recently for a physical.
Four months had passed, and Joanne had not gotten our son’s blood work done. I scheduled a telehealth visit with Ameir’s pediatrician after the results were in. He noted that Ameir’s health was worse than before. He stated this is not good. My face turned deep, beet, ruby-red, my heart rate accelerated, and blood pumped through my body faster and faster. What a master she is at making a mess.
Ameir has faced recent health challenges that are unprecedented for me as a parent. He has been under mental, emotional and physical stress for some time now. The battle to lighten the burden on my son has been paramount in all the challenges, difficulties, and struggles that I face. Seven years of not being able to drive alone is a challenge of its own. However, it has not and will not impede my ability to perform and do for my son. I will continue to break barriers that interfere with my drive to steer him into a brighter future.
Ameir was diagnosed as pre-diabetic, his cholesterol was high, his weight doubled, and he was obese according to his height and weight. The young Ameir was on a high-sugar diet that did not support a healthy active lifestyle. Co-parenting with Joanne, there had been a lack of transparency when it came to Ameir’s health, education, and daily routine. I witnessed how winded, strained, and tired he was. On numerous occasions he would descend to the ground and say that he was lightheaded or had not eaten. He would lay in the field on the grass and recoup. Other times we would frequent his local library and enter a cubicle to sit and read. He would fall asleep in less than 15 minutes. He was not receiving the rest he needs.
Without health no one can enjoy the fruits of life. As his father, the most significant question that I could ask myself was why my son was so burdened at such an early age. When I was in his life full time none of these health problems existed. As soon as I removed myself from the environment his health declined, rapidly and steadily. At one point he began to develop a double chin, his face dulled, hair dried, eyes tinted with sadness. No one in his immediate environment could see any of this. Only myself, his arms hugging me like a seat belt as he silently cried for safety.
I continue to battle for stable housing, with many others locally and globally. Without having adequate housing, it has affected the quality of time I can spend with my son, the quality of food that I can prepare for him, and the daily activities that I offer. What instability of housing does is turn everything upside down. Your world is now inverted. The base is at the top and the apex of the pyramid is now below. Instability is disruptive. You are placed under the umbrella of uncertainty and unpredictability. The routine that both my son and I enjoyed slipped away from the two of us. The dedication I once was in tune with receded, diminished, and for a moment, dried up. The commitment that I held with high esteem tumbled down. The responsibility of waking my son in the morning, picking his clothes out the night before, making sure his clothes matched, that he bathed the night before, and went to bed on time. Preparing a healthy breakfast, making sure he brushed his teeth, and walking him to school are some of the most important things we can do as parents. Stability is necessary for a happy, healthy home and reinforces the positive.
We took radical action together. Although Ameir is aware of the changes that my own housing instability creates, I do not add weight, worry or woe to my son’s life. I allow change to change us not define us. I make do with what is available and make Ameir a high protein soup. I soak a bag or two of lentil beans overnight in a pot. I use Premio sausages, removed casing—discarding it. I use a combination of bell peppers to add natural flavor. Later, I add fresh garlic. Yellow, red, white onions. Last, I add the sausage. Other times I make him fresh fish, grits and scrambled eggs for breakfast. Egg whites, veggies, turkey or pork bacon.
During my periodic visits to Ameir. I travelled to him with a hot meal. Especially when he makes a request. When financial resources were available, I would take him to Panera Bread for soup, salad or sandwich. With doors closed, blocks, and all. I was able to sign him up for soccer to help combat his health risk and mitigate any future possibilities of it happening again. I travel by bus 2 ½ hours one way to get him to soccer practice, three times a week. After several weeks of soccer practice, Ameir and I are on the same page. His pre diabetic condition is no more. It subsided, not magically. That was a win for the father-son duo.
This allows me to open the windows and connect with others who may face the same challenges and do not have the words, spirit or heart to convey what they feel. I know that I am not the only father who has experienced this or who is currently going through this type of situation. I acted ferociously, faithfully and without fear. A twist of fate remains yet to be seen: will the burden continue to be buried or uplifted.
Dreams serve, steer, awaken and ring out.
9 June, 2023