My uncle Lameck often finds himself thinking why his beautiful wife becomes upset whenever he leaves her side. It is somehow funny but also a serious issue in the family. His wife’s strong desire for him to be at home conflicts with the reality that he must undertaking out to work and provide for his family. It’s important for him to earn a living and put food on the table, but it pains him to see his wife unhappy when his not around.
Currently, my uncle’s wife is six months pregnant, a period that has brought about a unrestrained of emotions and challenges. They’ve found themselves in frequent disagreements and she would often express her frustration and anger when he had to leave home for work. It’s a difficult situation because on one hand, my uncle want to be there for her every moment but on the other hand, his work is necessary to ensure the family’s well-being is maintained.
I am involved with my uncle’s relationship because we stay together in the same house. I started staying with my uncle for a year now. I moved from my parent’s house to go and do an internship opportunity that I got in Lumbadzi. I had no one except my uncle who I could stay with and staying with him saved the money that I could be paying rent. My uncle’s wife is like a mother to me since she loves me like her own child. When my uncle is not paying attention to her, sometimes she complains to me and I am always there to listen to her. That’s why she loves me, I guess.
A certain day, I overheard both of them arguing. They were arguing about my uncle coming late yet he knew that the wife is pregnant. I could understand her concern and I could feel bad as a woman too. I am currently not dating but I feel like I will need my man’s attention once I get married. That’s what I feel like the enjoyment in my relationship and I feel that my uncle’s wife has a right to demand that. My uncle feels like he misses his friends and going out at late hours to enjoy which I also feel like it is not safe. On top of that, he has to be there for his wife because she needs more care for her condition.
Seeking guidance from our elders was a turning point for my uncle. The elders in the community offered insights into the common emotional variations that pregnancy can bring. Learning that her reactions are a normal part of this journey provided some comfort. He was been reassured that once she delivers their child, her emotional state might stabilize and it will allow them to return to a more harmonious routine.
The anticipation of her giving birth fills him with a mixture of emotions. My uncle eagerly awaits the arrival of their baby and look forward to the joy it will bring to their lives. At the same time, he admits that he is also hopeful that her emotional state will indeed balance out after childbirth. This hope stems not from a desire to escape responsibilities, but from a desire to see his wife happier and more at ease.
My uncle, Lameck imagines a future where he can spend time outside of our home without fearing his wife’s anger or frustration. This doesn’t mean he will neglect his duties as a husband and father, but rather that I hope to find a better balance between providing for his family and being present for them emotionally. I hope my uncles wish comes to a reality and he can have a cute family with the new born in the future.
27 September, 2023
