My Father Disappoints Me

By Bernard Ndagijimana
Bernard Ndagijimana's stories

My father is a disgrace to me because of everything he does to my mother. I always promised myself that I would never disrespect my parents but the actions of my father made me change my mind. It was on 28th July this year when my mother went to give my father food at the shop where he drinks. I can say that it is a liquor shop. When my mother arrived around 7pm, she found that my father was with a prostitute in the room that is behind the liquor shop. This is not the first time that my mother caught him with prostitutes but she works so hard to not be traumatized by my fathers’ actions.


This time around, my father went beyond boundaries and told my mother to stay for the whole night together with the prostitute. My father wanted to sleep between my mother and the prostitute. Whenever he is drunk, he always does weird things but this was beyond my imagination. My mother refused to stay. In response to that, my father decided to beat my mother severely. My mother managed to run to the other house that was eight kilometers away from the shop.


After an hour, my father followed her so that he could beat her again. Unfortunately, he found that I was around. When he started his violent actions against my mother, I stood up and pushed him away. He then said that I wanted to fight him and as a child, I had to stay away. My father decided to attack me and my mother but out of the blue, I fought him and wounded his face. I then decided to rent a house away from home and told him that I will be coming to check everyday if he went violent to my mother so that I respond too.


Dealing with my family’s problems is really tough. Every day, I wake up feeling a mix of love for my father, anger about what he does, and a strong worry for my mom’s safety. It affects my everyday life a lot. I keep checking my phone all the time, waiting for my mom’s calls, scared that something bad might happen at the liquor shop. My heart sinks when I see her name on my phone’s screen, wondering what kind of news she has. Our home is full of tension. It’s not just the hitting and fighting; it’s the constant fear that my father will get angry at any moment. I can see how scared my mom is, and it really upsets me. She works really hard to support us, dealing with money problems and the stress caused by my father’s behavior. I have seen her hide her pain, trying to protect me from the tough reality.


Deciding to stay alone felt like a safe place for me, but every morning, I remember how I used to greet mom after working up, which is not the same anymore. However, I don’t regret it since it somehow gives me peace of mind. Where I stay is a simple place, far from the liquor shop, and it is calm there, which is so different from all the chaos and fights I have seen. Being alone in my new place lets me think about what’s happening and makes me want to stand up for my mom.


I hate anyone who would try to hurt my beloved mother. She is a strong woman and she has endured a lot from my father. Not only my mother but anyone who tries to hurt a woman is like my enemy. I feel like I can fight them back as a way of defending those women. Though my father and I fought, I still consider him as my parent but I hate what he does and I will never tolerate the nonsense of attacking my mother especially when he is drunk.

21 November, 2023