I have always felt lost in the world, like I didn’t belong anywhere. For instance I always felt like I was not good enough, like I didn’t measure up to people’s expectations and like I was different from everyone else. It was such a strong feeling within me that I could not even let it out or explain. I have always had a supportive family, and yet I could not shake off the feeling that there was something missing. I knew I needed to go on a journey to find myself, a journey to self discovery but I was not even sure about where to start from. But life itself taught me about myself and that is the most important lesson I have learnt. It took me from what I used to be to what I Am now. I used to be quiet and shy, more of an introvert not wanting to expose myself, not wanting to speak up for what I thought was correct, I used to be more of an indoor person and could only come out when I knew it was absolutely safe. When I knew that nobody was around, I would venture into my little world, and at the first sight of many people around, I would run back into my private space where I felt more comfortable and secure. I would never speak about what was on my mind. I would feel afraid that someone would criticize me and I always felt inferior thinking that other people are better than I am. I cared much about what others thought and didn’t pay attention to my own perception of myself.
When I finished school, I learnt a lot the hard way, life itself taught me to be smart and social because through social networks you create numerous opportunities to be successful. I had to look for jobs and do interviews but all that required me to get out of my comfort zone and prove myself to the different potential employers. I had to learn to voice my opinion and let the world know how I feel because I had realized why it is important. I had to take time to educate myself and maintain my emotional stability and transform my own self when everyone else failed to provide help. I also realized that it required me to take a step to find myself. I self learned that it is not a crime to fail at something as long as you have learned from your mistakes and weakness. By finding the courage to believe in myself I have become steady and strong. While the thought of challenge used to terrify me, it now gives me the tenacity to work even harder and overcome the obstacles that may stand in my way. I have realized that the ideas I have hidden inside can contribute to the world. It was not an easy journey trying to find myself, but I am now secure in who I am.
I now have my own way of thinking without feeling swayed and intimidated by other people, I no longer compare myself to others and belittle my own abilities. I have learned that self discovery is about taking charge of your life and recognizing your own strength and abilities. I even have set goals for myself and I celebrate every achievement no matter how small. I am extremely open with my emotions and try not to hold anything back. Now who I appear to other people is exactly who I am, nothing held back.along with my shift in values. I understand that there is a lot worse that can happen than doing something embarrassing. Life is too short to worry over every little thing. Also, at the risk of sounding conceited, I have to say that I love the person that I have become. More confident and assertive.
And also now I have a way I correlate with whatever I observe in the world around me because the more you understand the world around you, the more you will see how you fit into it and the more confident and self aware you will become. One of the most paramount traits differentiating humans from all other forms of nature is knowledge of transitoriness, of beginning and end. And therefore of the gift of time. Time is given like a piece of land. As it were entrusted to him for faithful tilling, a space in which to strive incessantly, achieve self realization, move onward and upward. Yes, with the aid of time. People become capable of wresting the immortal from mortals. Deep down, I believe and deem such beliefs natural to every human soul. That the universe’s prime significance must be attributed to this world.
I believe that the creation of the world out of nothing and the life out of inorganic state ultimately was intended to be the creation of man. I believe that man is meant as a great experiment whose possible failure by man’s own quilt would be paramount to the failure of creation itself. So in order to succeed in your life you have to believe in yourself and never give up no matter what life throws at you. My story therefore is a testament to the importance of self discovery, self empowerment and restoration. When you believe in yourself and take control of your life, you can achieve great things. Self discovery and empowerment is not only about achieving success but also about living a fulfilling life and being happy with who you are. It is a journey that begins with a single step, but it is a journey worth taking.
9 May, 2023
