It’s quiet and dark everywhere. I shake from the cold of the night, my hair is poked, and my teeth are hitting each other. I don’t know if it’s because of fear or the cold of this garden, or maybe the black forest does not let me recognize anything except itself. I raise my head among the tree-lined trees above my head. The hidden sky with bruised clouds and the dark color of the moon throws me a terrible sense. I’m walking I don’t know where, I’m just following the black again. There’s a voice coming. I sharpen my ears.
Oh, my God, I think two dogs, maybe wolves, have fallen into each other, and I hear their breath. They appear in front of my eyes a moment later. In the midst of the darkness the eyes of the two are like four small moons. The shape of the moon tonight is yellowish yellow. They are standing in front of each other looking for the right opportunity to attack and tear each other, as if they don’t notice me. I open my eye. They’re standing staring at me, as if they noticed me. I think they’ve ended up dividing me, and they prefer to tear me apart. While I close my eyes ,I say it’s cold why is my body hot? I understand this from the sweat of my forehead and my lips, which taste like salt on the back of my tongue.
I understand I don’t know what I’m doing, just standing. They look like they’re all waiting for me to attack. I go a few steps back and then turn my back to them and start running. I don’t remember I’ve ever run as fast. I feel there is no sound and I can’t stop . My throat is burning, my tongue does not graze, and I bend both hands to my knees. I turn my head back. It’s nothing. They may have lost me. My heart slows down, it feels calm for a few minutes.
Soon, though, I see those wolves in front of me again, and one of them tumbles on me. I’m screaming, but I can’t hear my voice, oh my God, why don’t I make a sound? I’m feeling choking as the wolf beats me to the ground, their mouths that smell bloody close to me. I close my eyes because I don’t want to see myself torn apart. I say to myself. I’m no longer alive.
Then I hear a voice like my mother’s voice saying, “Arise, my daughter, it’s time to go to school. Why are you sweating so much?”
I can’t open my eyes. I’m afraid that I don’t hear my mother’s sound anymore and I’m actually dead.
I finally woke up after my mother’s attempts to wake me up. I cried and threw myself into my mother’s arms as soon as my eyes opened, but she dismissively pushed me away and didn’t ask why I cried. I got up from my place and followed my mother into the kitchen. I told her of a terrible dream that I had in which I was about to die. I said, “Your daughter was nearly killed by wolves at a young age, and all your 15 years of labor was nothing.” But she didn’t see me at all as if I didn’t exist.
I went to my father with great anxiety. I held his hand. I was waiting for him to hug me, but he ignored me. I still heard no one. I screamed and shrieked.
I hear a voice as I cry that says wake up again, you have a nightmare. The sound is familiar, I think it’s my mother shaking me. I’m not sure if I open my eyes, I won’t witness another terrible event, so I stay the same for a few minutes until my face is soaked with water. Suddenly I fall out of place and see the whole family around me staring at my mother. I don’t say anything. I’m afraid that they won’t hear again. My mother hugs me and says it is over. It was just a nightmare.
I say, “Mother can you hear me?”
She says, “Yes, why don’t I hear you?”
I smile and throw myself into my mother’s arms again.
16 August, 2023
