The African way of showing love

By Achiro Jackline

In African, the norms of marriages differ from what people from other continents are used to. Romance and expression of feelings are rarely displayed by couples. Many African couples hardly kiss, or hug each other, and when they do, they tend to be brief and distant, usually reserved for times of good news or illness.

Husbands only put food in their wives’ mouth when they are seriously ill, at the request of doctors. They don’t do it because they are trying to be romantic but out of sympathy for their wives. If a husband opens a car door for his wife, it’s likely that the door is broken and hard to open, rather than a romantic gesture.

The only time that an African man touches his wife’s neck is when she complains of a fever, and funnily enough, he won’t touch her neck again till the next fever. The only time when he carries his wife in his arms is when she’s in labor. When sitting together outside their home, don’t think they are being romantic—they’re just waiting for the smell of insecticide to vanish.

Wives tend to show love for their husbands only when they are hospitalized. They do this by cooking food and taking it to the hospital for their husbands to eat. The only time couples run together is when there is danger and everyone is running. The only time they take strolls together is when they are going to the garden, or to complaint to the parents of the child that beat theirs, or that got their daughter pregnant.

The only time a wife looks closely in her husband’s eyes is when he complains that something has entered his eyes. Unfortunately, many African men feel that any display of romanticism is a sign of being controlled by their wives, which makes them scared and hesitant to express themselves.

10 March, 2023